It is very kind of Neo to say such nice things about me, although as with that picture from my niece, I don’t recognise the person; but you should never decline compliments, or the fruits of a good friendship. Like so many of us, I just do my best.
That last is an interesting observation, as when I made it recently to a colleague it was in the context of her wondering why I had been answering work emails at 8 in the evening when I am paid to do 9 to 5. She clearly thought I was not wholly sane. When I was born my Daddy was already in his late fifties, and so I was brought up with the values and expectations of his world. They were pretty straightforward, as he put it: “You do your best, Jess, you keep your nose and hands clean, and remember no one owes you a living.” Some of my friends thought he was my grandfather, and his views and attitudes were not those of their fathers, all of whom were old enough to have been his sons. I was taught you gave it your best, and not to count the time.
It still seems to me that this is a good way to approach life, but I am told by friends that it is very ‘conservative’ and ‘old fashioned’; where, they ask me, is the place for ‘fun’? I wasn’t brought up to see life as being primarily a matter of having ‘fun’. That wasn’t to say that you didn’t have fun, but that it was something you earned. It was also something you got from living. I used to love sitting on Daddy’s knee and being told stories, or lying in bed being read to; I used to love going for walks on the farm; I loved being shown how to use the shot-gun when I was old enough to do it, and I took pleasure in beating the boys (when I could) at the local fair once a year in the shooting contests; I adored working with Daddy’s collies on the farm. All of that was ‘fun’ – and it didn’t cost much either.
God is there for me all the time. My time is given to me by God and I have to account to Him for what I do with it. I wish I were the paragon Neo portrays, as I could do more for His greater glory. But I do try to remember that everything I do is for God and that I am accountable at the Last to Him for what I did with this life He gave me. It was Daddy who used to say: “Remember Jess, we pass here only once, so if you can’t help others on the way, why should they help you; you get out what you put in.” It was a creed which coheres more readily with the conservative world-view in some ways, as it is about self-reliance and hard work. But it is also one which requires us to give things back in God’s name, and not to count the cost.